Back into the Groove

Looking back on past posts, I see, after my employment with Greyhound, when I experience the exhilaration of being free, again, to pursue art, and not locked into someone else's schedule, always going to an unknown destination, I wrote very open and honest posts. The spirit of which, this blog was founded on.

Later on, I see, I settled back into my old ways a little bit, got back into my shell, and stopped being as loose and free; jolly and witty.

I'd like to try and get back into that. To put my true heart right on the page. It's probably for a couple reasons I don't normally do that:

a) my living situation- at the time I started this blog, alone, in a cozy studio, I had a nice salvaged desk and some free time, with nobody around to bother me.
Now I have a roommate not of my choosing, and, never feel quite free or at home. It's just how I am. I get reserved and icy, in a similar situation. This is especially true around those who grew up with a much more righteous work ethic than myself and have no opposition to physical labor as I do. Needless to say, my roommate is such a person, as is the gentleman currently sitting opposite from me in the library. (I know this because he's a welding student who went to a shared event with us.)

b) No time. I am in school 40 hours a week; spend an additional several hours on public transit getting somewhere, and don't feel very energetic on weekends.

c) Not feeling inspired /artsy- because of my environment, where I go to school, where I live, those that I associate with, and my loss of contact with artsy, hip folk, I don't often feel in the zone.


And now, feeling uncomfortable, and vulnerable, as usual, I am going to run from the page, to write more where I can do so on my own without someone sitting across from me. A concept that makes me all the more uncomfortable, as someone as skiddish and neurotic as I am. (Kind've like the human embodiment of a house cat that'll hide under the bed and/or growl and snarl at the sight of a stranger in its territory.)

Obviously, social anxiety has a lot to do with this. I don't think I previously mentioned it in this blog, and probably never will again, but I do have another blog about my experience with this condition. Check it out.

I have another long train ride (several days in each direction, coast to coast and back the long way,) which should give me nothing but time to write. So I will see what I come up with, and post any resulting blog entries here.


Otherwise, happy holidays and all that jazz!