Remedial Traning from Work

Today on my secondary job, driving for Pizza Hut, I learned:


Always Bring the Pepper- Pizza drivers are long distance wait staff or at least, stewards. You can leave the wine corkscrew at home, but at least recall a few little packets of parmesian and crushed red pepper. At least, if you don't want to do this, always look at the receipts thoroughly. Cuz' this is a national brand, and if you don't extend what they want to make available to the public then....it makes their advertising look bad...etc....and then they call domino's, and Papa John's when they screw up, and then a local chain and then back to us, etc....

Don't Ring Doorbells Late at night- They probably have a really loud, melodic one which will wake everyone in the house up and piss your customer off enough to cost you your tip.

Always, Always See if There's Soda on the Order- I don't know....I really thought Sprite and Pepsi only showed up on the bottom of the slip...

Press F4 to Get change the product type in the order screen- I thought I was a computer geek, but probably am not a very good one. The thing here is, I have little experience or patience with archaic systems and don't apologize for such. This is not DOS stuff, even. I don't know what the F keys are but those border-line programming skills are too defunked for me. F those F keys!


Honestly, I thought I was kind've too old to be a pizza boy, and when I did get the job, I thought it would be cool and I could just rock out and work with people who are all metalled/ punked out and perhaps as stoned as our customers (whooeee...those are some sweet smelling skunk smoke clouds in some houses...) however, every job is harder in person than it seems on paper. And every job---for me--is a learning experience.

Seems I've lacked common sense and manual practically for some time, and still havent' learned it, but I think if you're mostly a lazy slacker and you've trained yourself to relax and take it easy most of the time, and you've tried all different things not sticking to just one, and you don't like to do hard physical labor and avoid it to the greatest possible extent ---well---it seems to me you won't become one of your hardened, heat-of-the-moment, labor-practical folk your coworkers are.


The truth is, however, there are all different kinds of people and we can't all be practical/ street smart work-a-zoids, and also, I think because I'm a performer, I may not be able to do anything else but act and write. And there is the fact that these jobs put us in stressful contexts that may make us feel bad about ourselves, or incompetent, when, in fact, we do have mad skills at the appropriate time.


So---that's about the summary of lessons learned today at Remedial Vocational School of the Hut.


Piz out!!!


Oh, and by the way---to all you Papa John's people I see---take it easy. We share the roads- we're not rivals in real life. Our companies are too. Geez. This goes for Domino's too, but y'all haven't bothered me. Y'all may have better pizza. Or not. But we have flags instead of big taxi signs that make people think we're cops and slow down....so. PFFFFFfffttt!!!!!!




BTW- I personally only go to vegan pizza places and, although I've had a life long love for pizza, I'm probably over that. And I'd readily and handsomely compensate the person who invents something for keeping the smell of pepperoni and sausage from pervading your car, if you deliver. God that stuff makes me sick. I used to think The Hut had good pizza, but have discovered that the sauce is too spicy for me, and I prefer a neutral sauce.